Dead Hooker Burial

QIC:  TinSnip

Date: 09/18/2022

PAX: Clothespin, Deep Dish, Cheny, Abercrombie, Pipeline, El Chapo,  9 Volt, Cooter, WetDream, Molly Maid

AO: The-Battery


Conditions

Perfect Morning Gloom for a beatdown no excuses on conditions


COP

SSH – 50 IC

BAC Forward – 1 0 IC

BAC Reverse – 10 IC

Willie Mays Hayes – 10 each IC

Downward Dog Calf Stretch

Scrap the Tip

Indian Run a Lap to the Pavilion – 6th sprint to the front


The Thang

Interval Timer

1:30 min Stargazers

1 min Left Leg Step Up

1 min Right Leg Step Up

1:30 min Oblique Crunch switch side halfway

1:30 min Dips

1 min Star Curls

1 min Left Leg Bulgarian Split Squat

1 min Right Leg Bulgarian Split Squat

1 min Jack Knifes

Rinse and Repeat one more round

Mosey to the top of the hill each man grabs two coupons and makes two even stacks at the cones. Setup cones 40 paces apart to make two lines. Then setup two cones 30 paces apart to make a 45° leg for each group. Staged 60 lbs heavy drop bags (dead hookers) at the start cone for each group. Separate into two groups of blondes and brunets. Each Pax member carries the dead hooker around the 45° cone to represent finding a location to bury the body. After each pax has completed search for a burial spot each pax member relays to the stack of coupons and moves one coupon to the other side of the cone to represent digging a hole. After all coupons are on the other side one the next pax member of the relay carries the dead hooker to the hole. Then continue the relay moving the coupons back to the other side to represent burying the dead hooker.


COT

Find a challenge that puts you outside your comfort zone. Use that to push yourself to grow.


Moleskin

Some of these men appeared to have previous experience with carrying the dead weight of a body. So for my personal safety I did not ask any questions.


News

Chubbys homeless ministry – need volunteers every Monday of the month EXCEPT the first Monday.


Recent Backblasts

    A Ladder at the Batter…..(y)

    QIC:  Blackout

    Date: 9/15/2022

    PAX: 9-Volt, Abercrombie, Cheney, Clothespin, Cock-6, Cooter, Deep Dish, El Chapo, MollyMaid, Pipeline

    AO: The Battery


    Conditions

    Finally getting cooler in the mornings!


    COP

    • FF – oyo
    • SS – x15 IC
    • WMH – x10 IC
    • Arm Circles – x10 IC
    • Reverse Arm Circles – x10 IC
    • Seal Claps – x10 IC

    The Thang

    LADDER

    10 Burpees, 20 BBSU, 30 Merkins, 40 Squats, 50 Flutter Kicks (HC), 60 Toe Merkins

    There were six stations along the Greenway spaced around 275 feet apart (90 yards or so).

    • Round 1: 10 Burpees; 20 BBSU
    • Round 2: 10 Burpees; 30 Merkins; 20 BBSU
    • Round 3: 10 Burpees; 40 Squats; 30 Merkins; 20 BBSU
    • Round 4: 10 Burpees; 50 Flutters; 40 Squats; 30 Merkins; 20 BBSU
    • Round 5: 60 Toe Merkins; 50 Flutters; 40 Squats; 30 Merkins; 20 BBSU; 10 Burpees

    Totaled around 2.25 miles, 70 Burpees, 100 BBSU, 120 Merkins, 120 Squats, 100 Flutters, 60 Toe Merkins

    Finished with mosey to the flags and two minutes of plank.


    COT

    Had one of my Daily words come through my e-mail this past week that really stuck out to me; some of these daily meditations are not so great and some are awesome, this one was awesome; It said “don’t let your feelings get in the way of your relationship with God”. It got me thinking about how often, I and probably many others, let our feelings get in the way of doing things the right way or the hard way. If you don’t feel like praying, do it anyways; If you don’t feel like getting up; do it anyways; If you don’t feel like being kind, do it anyways; If you don’t feel like working hard; work hard anyways. Whatever that IT is that you need to be doing but aren’t doing because of your feelings; Just do it! You’ll be glad you did.


    Moleskin

    9-Volt added many of his own 10 counts; Q actually utilized that as a good time to stary moseying again!

    Lots of MC this morning, loved it!


    News

    Chubby’s Monday Nights; Habitat event coming up; Round up VQ at Parliament tomorrow

    See 1st-f, 2nd-f and 3rd-f channels on Slack


    Recent Backblasts

      If LL Cool J and Dora Had a Baby…

      QIC:  Clothespin

      Date: 09/06/2022

      PAX: Cooter, Cock-6, Cheney, Family Tree, Oakgasm, MollyMaid, Duvet, WetDream 

      AO: The Battery


      Conditions

      Foggy and Humid definitely gloom weather!


      COP

      Forward Fold
      LBAC Forward (IC)
      LBAC Reverse (IC)
      Seal Claps (IC)
      Tri-ceps/Shoulder Stretch right then left
      Third Grade Exercise (IC)


      The Thang

      If Dora The Explorer had daddy issues and had a baby with LLCoolJ it would have to be something like this workout….

      Merkin Mile = 1 lap and 12merkins done 4 times (You know how Dora likes to explore.)

      1 LLCoolJ = A lunge each leg, a burpee, and a Squat Jump. We Did 10. (He better be in shape Dora is only 22 and he is 54.)

      Dora:
      100 Gorilla Humpers (HC)
      200 Merkins
      300 SSH
      400 LBC
      500 Imperial Walkers
      While 1 partner does Exercises the other moseys to the cone, does 3 merkins and moseys back. (Approximately 30 yards)


      COT

      There were two guys working for the city. One would dig a hole — he would dig, dig, dig.
      The other would come behind him and fill the hole — fill, fill, fill. These two men worked furiously; one digging a hole, the other filling it up again.
      A man was watching from the sidewalk and couldn’t believe how hard these men were working, but couldn’t understand what they were doing. Finally he had to ask them.
      He said to the hole digger, “I appreciate how hard you work, but what are you doing? You dig a hole and your partner comes behind you and fills it up again!”
      The hole digger replied, “Oh yeah, must look funny, but the guy who plants the trees is sick today.”

      Moral of the story is don’t dig hole and just fill them foolishly. Plant something in them and grow it. That is what F3 is about. We dig the hole with an EH, but it’s how we plant the seed in our FNGs that matters. We have to pour into them and nurture them. That’s how we make leaders out of men. That’s how we make each other better!!!!

      Moleskin

      Lot’s of sweat and grunts today. The best part was I got a few “I hate you Clothespin” out of the group. That’s how I know we had a good time! (As I laugh maniacally…)

      Yes we did LLCoolJs to Classic Rock music! LOL


      News

      Habitat For Humanity coming up 10/8, Chubby’s on Mondays, Pray for Tinkerbell!


      Recent Backblasts

        Murdering Hornets With Burning Hair!

        QIC:  Clothespin

        Date: 08/27/2022

        PAX: Mansiere, 8 Mile

        AO: Convoy


        Conditions

        Quiet, Cool and perfect for sweat equity!

        I must be scary…. Only 2 had the b… uh guts to show.

        COP

        Forward Fold
        Mosey Approximately 80 yards
        SSH 20 in cadence
        Mosey Approximately 80 yards
        Willy Mayse Hayse 14 in cadence
        Mosey Approximately 80 yards
        Little baby Arm circles forward (thumb up) 15 in cadence
        Mosey Approximately 80 yards
        Little baby Arm circles reverse (thumb down) 15 in cadence
        Mosey Approximately 80 yards
        Self Esteems while Q gets music turned on


        The Thang

        I was struggling a little. Could have been a number of things. We will call it the thin air being in the higher elevation and all.
        Murdering Hornets with Burning Hair

        Cut-a-Flip
        until you reach 50 Merkins and 50 BBS

        LL Cool J 10 Reps

        Pax performs Alternating Lunges (R-L), then a standard Burpee & finish with a Jump Squat = LL Cool J. The “Cool” part is the burpee.

        Fire Drill depends on the #of PAX (we did 2 times through)

        PAX in a circle, chopping feet or high knees. Each PAX calls out “Fire” all PAX hits the ground rolls right, merkin, roll back left, another merkin, then back up chopping. Go around the circle with the “stop, drop and roll” until all PAX have called “Fire”.

        Hair Burners 4 Reps

        To push weight plates (10s, 25s, 35s or 45s) across the ground in a parking lot or around a track for a given time or distance. An Area 51 Tiger Rag special.

        Murder Hornet 4 Reps

        Take on the Killer B’s Routine from Iron Pax ’19 but with a cinderblock coupon. Pax line up at the start. Murder Bunny 10 yards then: 10 Man Makers, 10 Lunges w/coupon, 10 BBS w/coupon. Repeat till 30 yard line. Once complete: Bear Crawl + Coupon Drag back to starting line. Rinse and Repeat the whole thing

        Move on to station Work!!!
        Stations on the lower parking lot when Q call Rotate take a lap around the court to next station. Q will call out the Mode of Transport. Each round. The in leu of time we only did 1 round of the stations skipping station 2. I wanted time for a stretch and some Mary. Felt it was pertinent to include the whole workout for later reference purposes.

        Modes of Transport:

        Round 1 Long jumps
        Round 2 Bernie
        Round 3 Mosey
        Round 4 walk

        Station 1:
        • 1st round merkins 10
        • 2nd round Diamond merkins 10
        • 3rd round Wide arm merkins 10
        • 4th round Flying Fish merkins 9

        Station 2:
        • 1st round burpees 10
        • 2nd round burpees 10
        • 3rd round burpees 10
        • 4th round burpees 9

        Station 3:
        • 1st round Squats 10
        • 2nd round Lunges 10
        • 3rd Round SSH 11 cadence count
        • 4th round backward lunges 8

        Station 4:
        • 1st round Baby crunches 10 HC
        • 2nd round Freddie mercury 10 HC
        • 3rd Big boy sit-ups 11 HC
        • Captain Thor 8

        Mary/Stretch:
        20 flutter Kicks IC
        20 Heel touches IC
        Forward Fold to Downward Dog Stretching Calves


        COT:
        S.S. Leadership

        1. I am the captain of my ship.
        2. I am in Ship Shape
        3. I chart my course
        4. I set sail
        5. I am a good crew mate.
        6. I lend a hand on deck
        7. I check my compass
        8. I persevere through storms.

        Moleskin

        Gloom Horns started early and abounded through the workout especially while doing BBS with a block.


        News

        Labor Day Convergence 9/5, GrowRuck 31 9/9 – 9/11, Chubby’s, Helping Tinkerbell 8/28/2022 with his farm. Keep PAX dealing with sickness in your prayers. Keep Tinkerbell (torn biceps) and Cheney (his dad) in your prayers.


        Recent Backblasts

          Trust in the Shield Lock, SLT, and the Q

          QIC:  Mr. Clean

          Date: 08/26/2022

          PAX: Blue, Cleaver, Clothespin, Free Ball, Geek Squad, O.B., Ringwald, Shake N Bake, Snatch, Shea, Starbucks, U-Turn

          AO: Shot House


          Conditions

          Muggy.


          COP

          SSH x18 IC
          Forward Fold OYO
          Willie Mays Hayes x12 IC


          The Thang

          YHC has been calling this a Shot House “Run Day”. Today, the proverbial “run day” was a combination/modification of two Hero W.O.D.’s
          Michael
          3 Rounds for time..
          800m Run (2 Laps) w/25 BBSU’s and 25 Back Extensions
          Capoot
          Completed in AMRAP Fashion
          25 Merkins
          400M Run
          25 Merkins
          800M Run
          25 Merkins
          1200M Run


          COT

          Certain Q’s maintain certain reputations, whether it is connected to the difficulty of the workout, the type of routine, and/or certain exercises, the reputation is there nonetheless and possibly influences the decisions of certain Pax as to whether they want to attend.

          Each and every time a Q sets out to plan a workout; he is tasked with creating a workout which provides each man there with something to help improve their physical fitness.
          Conversely, each man who decides to attend a workout bears some sort of responsibility to give 100% effort. It is simply an unwritten or unstated bond of trust that every Q, in spite of reputation, prepares a workout for the Pax to improve fitness, so the Pax will show up and give 100%.
          As a leader, you prepare to lead, or you show up to follow with every ounce of zeal you have. This is the truest form of shared reliance which is trust in its truest form.


          Moleskin

          We just swapped fluids…


          News

          Labor Day Convergence at Parliament (Wuzonka Ball Tourney)


          Recent Backblasts

            The Cock Commander

            QIC:  Prosciutto

            Date: 08/26/2022

            PAX: 8 Seconds, Blindside, Burrito, Dundee, Lyft, Ponce, Sherlock,

            AO: Detention


            Conditions

            Folks, we cannot overlook the first obvious detail. 5:15am startex —

            5:15

            I mean, like…. What!? in the actual, Same. Greer…. are we doin here friends? This already felt like torture.

            Worse yet, from my third residence (non-primary) Signal Mountain Chalet, I have a 25 minute drive. Translated: I wake up at 4:20am (AMIRITE!?!!?!!! WAKE AND …. SLAY SON! THIS ISN’T COLLEGE) to an alarm that says, “Bruh, I didn’t really want to be the one to tell you this, but it’s time. Wake up king ???? .”

            So. I woke up. It felt like I fell asleep 30 minutes ago. So, we worked out basically last night and this backblast feels like it’s 24 hours late. #Cobains (obscure lexicon references are sometimes ok)

            In my not-yet-awakened stupor, I surmised that those other AOs operating on a 5:30am startex, “sissy time” – as it shall be called heretofore, aren’t doing hard things any more.

            In comparison, 5:30am now just seems… convenient. What a time to be alive.

            So, I arrive a bit early, 8 Seconds is there already and prepared with planted shovel (!!!), Burrito’s asleep in his car [his non-primary (but closest in proximity to Detention) residence is even further than mine]. I think he just squatted in the parking lot over night. Good move, that.

            The cars are rolling in. The humidity is real, y’all. Nothing relative about this. In this deep, sunken-down hole, often called a “valley”, it is brimming with moisture.

            I’m wearing the ugliest shirt I have and quite possibly the ugliest arrangement of colors on any given color palette known to man. It’s a crime and a sin what “Steve-o” put together for the Renegades in that one and only softball season. I’m embarrassed for myself. Everyone else just feels sad for me.

            “He’s gotta be color-blind, y’all”, one man said.
            Another man chimed in, “His Mom and Dad don’t love him”.
            A third, from out of nowhere said, “PENIS!”

            It was then, that I knew, it was time. Fighting through the tears and the embarrassment, the disclaimer was presented; poorly.


            COP

            Forward folds without cadence so that Burrito could say hello to everyone and ensure that he’s seen, inner thigh stretching…ohhh okay Burrito we heard you on the last one, WMH as he continues to interrupt and talk over everyone, arm circles – not the baby kind – this is a 5:15am workout – none of that sophomoric or third-grade nonsense….and scene!


            The Thang

            Mosey to start of what will become a run with merkins, which some would also affectionately refer to as a
            Merkin Mile
            25 merkins every .25 mile, with some backwards walking UP the hills

            Head over to the field to the cone set up; approximately ~15 yards apart
            Ladder with Bunnies Murdered and now Resurrected
            10 SSH at the start line every round, Incremented reps of Burpees per the round
            — Reverse Murder Bunny / Block Pull up the not-so-steep-but-noticeable-mole-hill
            Complementary # of reps in a Clean/Press to John McCain move
            — Rifle carry to start for additional rounds


            COT

            Love him or hate him, you cannot deny him and his success. It’s almost college football season, which means everyone’s excited about football. Nick Saban’s program at Alabama is one of the top programs nationally every year. It’s not by surprise, not by mistake. He has a list of values that he requires of his team, coaches, and staff.

            The first value is “Discipline”
            It states that there are two pains in life; the pain of discipline and the pain of disappointment. If you master the former, you’ll not need to concern yourself with the latter.

            Teddy Roosevelt had this to say about discipline:
            “The one quality which sets one man apart from another – the key which lifts one to every aspiration while others are caught up in the mire of mediocrity – is not talent, formal education, nor intellectual brightness – it is self-discipline. With self-discipline all things are possible. Without it, even the simplest goal can seem like the impossible dream.”

            I shared my experience this past Summer, coaching the 9 & 10 year old All-Star baseball team on Signal to a 2nd place district finish among 12 other teams (3rd in the state among 16). We had no business being there and no one expected it since our team was young; 80% 9 year old’s playing against 10 year old competition. But, no one told our team they weren’t expected to amount to much. They were only coached to practice hard, weekly; improving themselves each time they stepped out to play. They were not measured against someone else’s expectations, only their own.

            Despite their coaching, their discipline (not their talent) was what earned a higher than expected finish.

            The daily grind in the moment seems hard – impossible even, at times – but it may be more than your competitor commits to doing. It is through self-discipline that you become your only competitor and you become the standard by which others measure themselves. As TDR said it better than me, “it is the quality that sets one man apart from another”.


            Moleskin

            • The Yankee Clipper is legendary; for a lot of things
            • Burrito’s got a great joke about comebacks – ask him about it (privately)
            • Burrito loves Limp Bizkit
            • The last two points may or may not be related
            • Cock Commander
            • Ponce tells me as we’re almost done that he thought we were to do 10 reps on the other side for the entirety of the workout. No, Ponce, it’s a ladder, not suicide. Some say he’s still out at detention right now finishing those reps. Someone please check on him around lunch time.
              As my Grandpa used to tell me, “If you’re gonna be dumb, you better be tough”
            • and that Ponce fella is tough

            News

            AOQ Passing of the flag Monday at Detention; great job in your leadership Nordic Track. 8 Seconds is awesome and doing things right. Two great men and a well-established future for this group at Detention.


            Recent Backblasts

              Picking Up the Six

              QIC:  Mr. Clean

              Date: 08/22/2022

              PAX: 8 Seconds, Band Camp, Blue Dundee, Gerbil, Life Alert, Lyft, Nordic Track, O.B. Ponce (Respect), Roomba, Shamu, Shea, Sherlock, The Count (Respect, Respect) U-Turn, Up In Smoke

              AO: Detention


              Conditions

              Fall seems to be on the way some mornings, but this morning reminded us; the humidity is unrivaled throughout seemingly the rest of the nation!


              COP

              SSH x20 IC
              Speed Skaters x20 OYO
              Forward Fold OYO
              Willie Mays Hayes x15 IC


              The Thang



              Pick Up The Six

              The following was completed in an AMRAP fashion in 8 min sets. Mosey a lap at the end of each set. Turn around Pick Up the Six.
              Set 1
              Bobby Hurleys x15
              Hard Count Lunges x 10
              Burpees x5

              Set 2
              Curls x20
              Shoulder Press x15
              Lawnmowers x10 (each arm)

              Set 3
              Bench Press x30
              LBC’s x25
              Plank to Pike x20
              Leg Raises x15

              Mosey to the bottom of Mt. Crushmore with Blocks.
              Burpee Humper Ladder
              Run to first cone: complete 3 Burpees & 5 Monkey Humpers
              Run back to start, back to first cone, complete 3 Burpees & 5 Monkey Humpers, run to second cone, and complete 6 Burpees & 10 Monkey Humpers
              Complete 5 total cones or until time was called

              COT

              Picking Up The Six
              1. Must be a Priority
              2. Must be understood correctly. (Providing a “Hand Up rather than a Hand Out” & Done for completely selfless reasons)
              3. Must be utilized when necessary
              4. Must NOT be a tool to “Gaslight” or excuse one’s self care.

              BALL OF MAN:
              Prayers to the Almighty


              Moleskin

              Nordic Track has a speaker, is willing to provide it, and is willing to help with future playlists.
              “The Lord of the Dance” aka Dundee provided, once again, a flawless demonstration of a Speed Skater


              News

              Labor Day Convergence — Parliament (Wuzonka Ball Tourney)

              Impact and Influence

              QIC:  Mr. Clean

              Date: 08/20/2022

              PAX: Blue, Boomhauer, Doogie, Fivehead

              AO: HOA


              Conditions

              Humid. Humid as if the Convoy Ultimate Frisbee Dudes were pissing off the mountain…


              COP

              The disclaimer…


              The Thang

              Completed the following in AMRAP format for 6 minute sets w/a mosey up the hill to the Stop sign in between each.

              Set 1
              15 — Jump Squats
              15 — Hard Count Lunges
              10 — Merkins
              20 — LBC’s

              Set 2
              30 — Hard Count Mountain Climbers
              20 — Squats
              10 — Leg Raises
              10 — Plank to Pikes

              Set 3
              30 — SSH’s
              30 — Plank Jacks
              20 — BBSU’s

              Mosey to the Stop sign. Complete the 2 Steps Forward/1 Step Routine with the neighborhood mailboxes.
              2 Steps Forward — complete a set of 5 Monkey Humpers. Increase by increments of 5 each time we moved 2 steps forward.
              1 Step Backward — Each time we went backward we completed: 5 Squats, 5 Monkey Humpers, 5 Hard Count Lunges


              COT

              Recently, I posted on Slack, tagged a few guys in particular that my son seems to speak about on a regular basis. This was simply a segway into speaking of the impact each of us carry as leaders in our community. I took the time, especially on a Saturday morning, to reiterate the importance of remembering the influence we always have whether we realize it or not.

              BALL OF MAN:


              Moleskin

              Blue was there, so….


              News

              Blocks, Burpee Laps, and Bleachers

              QIC:  Blackout

              Date: 08/19/2022

              PAX: 3-Phase, Caulk Talk, Cavity Search, Cheney, Chiclet, Choo Choo, Cooter, Face Plant, iLean, Pipeline, Sniffer (sort of), WreckedEm

              AO: Parliament


              Conditions

              Perfect, one might have assumed it was Fall….wait, Nevermind, still humid


              COP

              • Mosey to track pad
              • FF – oyo
              • SSH – x25
              • WMH – x10
              • Burpees (5,4,3,2,1)

              The Thang

              ROUND 1 – Intervals (50 seconds on, 10 off)

              • Curls
              • Incline Merkins
              • Shoulder Presses
              • Flutter Kicks
              • Curls
              • Incline Merkins
              • Shoulder Presses
              • Flutter Kicks

              Run Lap around track; Every 100m, do 5 burpees. Equals 1/4 mile and 20 burpees

              ROUND 2 – Intervals (50 seconds on, 10 off)

              • Squats
              • Lunges
              • Toe Merkins
              • LBCs
              • Squats
              • Lunges
              • Toe Merkins
              • LBCs

              Run Lap around track; Every 100m, do 5 burpees. Equals 1/4 mile and 20 burpees

              ROUND 3 – Intervals (50 seconds on, 10 off)

              • Curls
              • Decline Merkins
              • Shoulder Presses
              • BBSU
              • Curls
              • Decline Merkins
              • Shoulder Presses
              • BBSU

              Run up and down steps on bleachers; x2


              COT

              Spoke about “being present” , used the example of when I took a new job to be in town with my family and quickly realized that there is a HUGE difference in being there physically and being present. Challenged the PAX and myself especially to be present; in interactions with spouse, children, colleagues, anyone whom you are interacting with, etc. This is key in building and sustaining relationships and respect. I have struggled with this as many others likely have as well.


              Moleskin

              Too much to remember…for starters, Sniffer showed up in a button down with a water and watched the beatdown. Gotta love the dedication! Also, he filmed WreckedEm 5 minutes late calling him a homo….very Parliamentesque


              News

              2nd F and 3rd F channels.
              CSAUP and Announcements channels


              Recent Backblasts

                Phil Collins Day – A day which will live in infamy [tribute]

                QIC:  Prosciutto

                Date: 08/19/2022

                PAX: Bernie, FNG-Headgear, Full Moon, Hurt Locker, Love Boat, Manscaper, Mr. Burns, Ricki Lake, Quackers (Respect), Roundup, Term Limit, Toe Jelly, Tube Squeeze, Uncle Joe, Weblow, Woodrider, WuzntMe, Zoosk

                AO: Hacksaw


                Conditions

                To start, the weather… which was spectacular; mid/high 60’s and a large volume of floating precipitation (some call it relative humidity, but what is that even, really?). When I’m in the mood to have a bit of fun, I think about RELATIVE part of relative humidity. Take this example. On occasion, you may be asked

                “How are you?” or in Soddy-Daisy, they say, “How yins bin gettin along?”… to which, your relative humidity response is, “Relatively speaking, sir/madam/it/they, we are 70%. AveryLouise-ElizabethGrace just had a tooth pulled by an orthodontist we named this morning ‘Headgear’. Our youngest, SterlinJoe MapleGlaze has really taken a liking to fishing this summer. So, relatively good”.

                — Or, how about this’n…

                Let’s say I need to buy a set of tires and am looking to see what it’d cost me for my 2003 ‘Champagne’ (Desert Sand) Honda Accord (real nice) …. the Soddy-Daisy inquiry goes like this,

                “2003 Hyundai, you sed? When you fixin’ to grow a set and buy a truck with real man attitude and knob’d tar’s, wussy boy? You even go by a boy, anyways? Not with that stupid sensible family sedan. Grow a set ‘nden come see me. Y’aint wastin’ my time no more. Also, humidity ain’t kin to no’one, what’s all that relative booshit?!”

                Relative Humidity would say: “That response seems to be 80% fair, 40% inaccurate and 11% laced with American badass. By the way, I drive a Honda, not a Hyundai.”

                I digress, this is supposed to be about the conditions; but the reader can obviously … err, how do I put this… Relate.

                YHC had anticipated rain, but alas The Steve was incorrect in its position last night, promising 60% chance of it. A big fat zero amount of precip this morning made Prosciutto 99% unhappy. YHC must’ve learned the nursery song wrong, “Rain rain come today, come back again everyday. Make our day great okay, rain rain come today.” Happiness doesn’t look to tomorrow, though, right? OOH! WAIT UNTIL THE END!

                Aside from the weather and “conditions” report. Can we talk about the sound of the traffic over dey? Seriously, I’m hoarse from over-projection in cadence and instruction. They’s too many houses up-in the Collegedale city limits. That, or Collegedale parkway is too convenient for the rural folks (who talk like the Soddy’s). It’s gotta stop.

                The grass where we laid / flopped around / sometimes just had conversation while laying around, seemed to be recently trimmed which was just great because gobs of grass down your Fabletics go nowhere but straight to one’s arsehole; couple that with the relative… ahh, you get it. That’s a gift that keeps on giving, if you ask me. But you didn’t. You want to know what we worked on? Guess what, it’s coming. And it wasn’t our feelings. Maybe, perhaps, our relative feelings?

                Foot hydration score was relatively 65 out of a total possible 99. You see, the relative scale doesn’t allow for such upper boundary readings (or lower for that matter), so you can remove the 100 and the 0 from any relative scale. They’re far-too exact. This relative stuff is just as inexact as it is inaccurate.


                COP

                1/2 mile jaunt to and around the flags, then some stretching, mid-wife noises, SSHs, 3rd Grade Exercises, WMHs, discussion on tappy-taps (wtf?), YELLING CADENCE BECAUSE OF THE TRAFFIC — CAN YOU EVEN READ THIS, IT’S SO LOUD?!


                The Thang

                Must say — was thinking this one up for a few weeks since I know the Hacksaw faithful are a demanding bunch of athletic prestige.

                Like LA Gear commercials used to say, “If you don’t come strong, you don’t come at all.”
                4 bang ladder
                Ladder to 11, like any old ladder routine, but with a pack of four exercises and a surprise on the other end. 1 and 10, 2 and 9, 3 and 8, 4 and 7… and so on.

                1 – HR Merkin, SSH, Bonnie Blair, X-Factors
                -run to the far cone-
                10 SSH and 1 Blockee (yes, just one, Zima; it’s okay this way)

                Repeat until flip flopped


                4 Jail breaks in between at YHC call


                COT

                James Oppenheimer wrote:
                “The foolish man seeks happiness in the distance, the wise man grows happiness under his feet.

                Today, you have today. Tomorrow is tomorrow. Save tomorrow’s worries for tomorrow — don’t miss out on your chance of happiness today. For today, every second, every moment today you have the choice to choose happy. Grow your happiness today (now) and happiness in the distance will find you; rain or no rain. Compound it like inflation and spread it like butter.


                Moleskin

                On this day in 2022, Prosciutto’s Phil Collins Day Q goes on record as the greatest day in Hacksaw AO history

                Them: “This is the greatest workout we’ve ever had at Hacksaw”
                Me: “I know. Relatively speaking.”

                Even though I had to endure a one-way 26 mile drive to your land of disenchantment, I did enjoy my time. Missed a few friendly faces which would have widened my scope to yell more loudly, but I’d do that for y’all if it ever came to it. But, I’m just not sorry enough that you missed what some say was the greatest event in Hacksaw’s history. Second only to my last Q here by a few relative degrees. Most of you missed that, too. ::peace-sign::


                News

                Iron Pax “Challenge”, Chubby’s ongoing efforts, Chinese Metal Rock concert October 2nd (see Full Moon for details)


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